Games, milkshakes, and power armor

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

How to not seem like a tool in online games

This is a pet peeve of mine that I feel like venting about. Whether on Xbox/Windows Live, Playstation Network, Steam or other online games, your screen name is the first experience your fellow gamers are going to have with you. It is the very first impression anyone who interacts with you online is going to get. I completely understand how difficult it can be to find a name that hasn't been taken yet, and people are more than welcome to call themselves whatever they want but there's a line between a decent name and seeming like an ass. Here's a few things I feel like ought to be avoided to not seem like a douche on online games.

Offender #1: tHe RAnDoM CaPItAlIzEr
The one thing that you need to strive for in a screen name/tag/psID is clarity. Especially in fast paced games like shooters, the last thing your team mates want to do is take their eyes off of what's going on in-game to struggle to read your mess of a gamertag so they can call out to you and say what's going on. One of the easiest ways to make me want to not bother telling you about the enemy who's about to give you a hot lead enema is to capitalize random letters in your tag. Capital letters belong at the start of words and names, nowhere else.

Offender #2: Mr.L3375P34K
H0w m4ny 0f y0u c4n r34d p30pl3 wh0 7yp3 l1k3 7h15? L33t is a relic from the 90's that has got to die. This goes back to my earlier subject of clarity. I don't want to have to determine what the fuck your tag is supposed to be while I'm trying to not get the hell shot out of me. I'm fine with the odd zero instead of an "o," but god damn it half of your name should not be numbers/random symbols.
Offender #3: The super stoner.
Let's get one thing straight. I am a fan of weed. However flaunting being the stoner lifestyle not only makes you look like a dumbass but also makes you the type of stoner who the only ones who want to play with are other guys who have that kind of tags. By all means, smoke weed, especially while gaming, but think for a minute what kind of message you're sending out about yourself before you hit 'accept' on the tag "super420weedstonerman." This goes for all you guys who use those "joint ops" and "blunt trauma" tags on CoD. Sorry to tell you guys but that shit has never been cool. Ever.
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Offender #4: The guy who adds numbers on the end of his name.
This is mainly a peeve of mine when it comes to MMORPG's and the like. On xbox live I can usually understand it, but if you're going to be in a thematic roleplaying enviroment for the love of god show a little imagination and pick something that actually looks like a real name. Nothing breaks the immersion like having the game system announce on a server message along the lines of "Killbasher662 has slain the Black Dragon of Memnoth!" You want to play in a world of swords and sorcery and high adventure, I can respect that. I can't respect that if you don't pick a name that seems like you mean it.
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Offender #5: The overcompensator
HardCoreGangstaKilla, SuperDeathMaker, shit like that. If you have to make a name for yourself that brags about how awesome you are, don't. It doesn't make you seem hardcore. It makes you look like a kid. If you have to announce your mad skills to the world, all I can say is you had better have the moves to cash the check your name is writing for you.

Offender #6: The innuendo/penis symbol.

Just no. You can bet your ass I'll report you for sheer stupidity even if your tag wasn't offensive. If I want to see dicks on the internet I'll go watch porn.
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Like I said, I can totally understand how hard it is to pick a quality screen name, but the extra effort always is worth it in the end when you don't seem like a dumbass in game. That's all for now. +1, like, follow, etc., you guys know the drill. Until next time!

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  1. Ahahaha some of these tips are really funny!
    I know a lot of people who use l33t words or overcompensators :D
    nice post!

  2. hahahah. oh man! I'm right there with ya!
    This made me laugh.

    I needed this.

  3. haah these where enjoyable to read